Worry Hour

"Most of the things I worry about never happen. Many of the things I don't worry about do. I find this very worrying!" Rabbi Lionel Blue

Sometimes, I wake up worrying, and I know without looking at the clock that it is 4am. Worry Hour.

This is nothing new. Worry Hour used to feature work triva; worst case scenarios playing out in my brain. Events I'm running going hideously, humiliatingly wrong. Situation Normal All F.U.

These days, it's all about cancer, and every twinge is terminal.

I have an ache in my abdomen: STOMACH CANCER!
A sharp pain in my temple: BRAIN TUMOUR!
An over-large freckle: MALIGNANT MELANOMA!
A numbness in my arm and leg: OH NO - I'VE GOT MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AS WELL!!
Chest pain and racing heartbeat: HEART-ATTACK TOO!

And this is an interesting insight - because this must be how hypochondriacs feel all the time!

Worry Hour lasts exactly one hour, after which I go back to sleep, and when I wake up the sun is shining, birds are singing and all's right with the world.

Next week it's back on NHS time. Monday: blood-tests; Tuesday: oncologist; Wednesday: chemo no 4. It's a different drug this time - docetaxel. Some people report more side-effects with this one. We'll see.