Thought for the year

Someone said to me today: "You can write off 2010 and let your life begin again in the new year."

They meant well but they don't get it. My life is not on hold. To live through this illness is to live fully. Perversely cancer, bringing with it the shadow of death, puts into sharp focus what it is to be alive.

It has by no means been an annus horribilis. It has been a time of many triumphs and surprises; the wave of goodwill that took me by storm at the beginning and still propels me through every hurdle; the people, some already close, some re-discovered, others strangers, who have stepped forward to help, knowingly or not; the luxury of having time to write,  reflect, and just to be; the realisation of what's important and what's not.

And what's most important to me, I realise, is connection with others. I cannot imagine going through this in isolation. Also important is physical fitness. Whether I can walk up the hill or not in Woodthorpe Park can make the difference between a good or a bad day. Something else that matters to me is writing - it's my therapy - and I'm proud of having completed an OU course in creative writing in August, despite cancer. And last but not least is faith. There have been low spots when the only thing that brings peace is prayer. Someone said there are no atheists in the trenches, and I know where they're coming from. When I think my life's in danger I pray like there's no tomorrow...