How to get rid of life insurance salesmen

Tell them you've got cancer - they can't get off the phone fast enough! There's been a spate of them recently. Sometimes they make a cursory attempt at concern but mostly they just say 'thank you madam' and put the phone down. They just don't know what to say; it's not covered in the script.

Being at home in the daytime you notice how many cold-calls you get. On the day I came out of hospital someone rang up wanting me to do a survey. I said: "I don't want to do a survey. I've just come out of hospital and I'm feeling rather tired," thinking that would get rid of him, but I underestimated the tenacity of the commision-based tele-salesman.

"Madam, it's a very quick survey and will only take a few moments of your time."

Madam got a bit cross with him at that point.

I am feeling much better - can get up the hill again and today walked back from the hospital. Liver scan came up clear - good news. Also had a chest X-ray - another unexplained appointment - I'm told it's 'routine'.

JP is on leave next week so we might get some boating in. In the meantime we are bracing ourselves for a visit tomorrow by Colonel Sensitivity. Perhaps while he's here I should put him on phone duty?